It’s becoming too heavy now
The weight of this story
The things my mind tells me I should have done
The instant replay
Over and over in my mind
The things I can no longer control
I feel the past dragging down the tree branches
The painful energies
Tugging me away
From this moment
I look around me
At all the fall leaves
Freeing the trees of
What no longer serves them
I wonder how I can attain
All that I long for?
How I can grow a healthy relationship
A healthy life
Be a healthy person
I aspire to be
With all this weighing down on me
As I look at the bare trees
So strongly rooted and upright
They appear so secure
So solid in their foundation
And I am reminded that
Trees are not alive because of their leaves on them
Trees are alive
Because of their roots to the earth
And oftentimes,
We attach our identities on the leaves
Coming and going from our lives
To the temporary happiness, we cling to
As if it is our source of love
And yet, the trees know a different truth
That healthy leaves grow
Not because of the leaves themselves
But because of healthy roots
And, I am guided back to the deep understanding
That love comes from within
Not from outside of myself
So, I decide,
What I really want to grow,
Is roots to my own heart
To my own connection within
To a sense of security
That can only come from me
As I am a source, a co-creator of these leaves
I cannot control the ebb and flow
The ever-changing circumstances called my life
But I can change my perceptions, my reactions
Rooted in my own self-love
So, I let go
I allow myself to be the bare tree
I feel the pulls of energy
Begging me to get lost in the past
And I say
“No thank you”
I stay rooted in the stillness
Allowing myself to feel the harsh winds
Stripping me of the weight of the past
Allowing it to fall away
one by one
The arteries of my heart
Growing strong roots
In the soil of my own skin
I melt into this moment
Allowing it to wash away
All the remnants of the pain
Opening up a space. A stillness. A peace within.
I am here. I am present.
I feel lighter
I feel at ease
I feel acceptance
That melts my heart with the oneness of life
I feel forgiveness
That sends vibrations of love to all those I have walked away from
I feel peace
For it is my sanctuary
I feel all the love I ever longed for
Right here
Within me
© Poem and art by Brooke Searle 2018-2020
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