REAL STRENGTH, REAL COURAGE, is in keeping our hearts open in the midst of injustice. We respond with courageous and fierce love, even when our minds tell us to respond with hate.
LOVE IS STILL THE ANSWER. Sometimes we forget.
When we have been wronged, or we see the injustices of the world.
We may be convinced,
that closing our hearts,
and reacting with hatred,
is the way to protect ourselves and others.
But we forget that it is in that thinking, that the injustices were birthed in the first place.
I heard a beautiful metaphor by Goenka, at a 10-day meditation course. He mentioned how, when someone comes running at us with fire that we know, intellectually, to put the fire out we must hose it down with water. But what most humans do, is when someone runs at us with fire, we react by throwing fire back. Only to make the fire bigger. And in the case of this metaphor, water would be love. I get it, we don't want to stand still and get burned or let someone else get burned. And we forget that there is another way.
You see, when we TRULY love ourselves and others, we don't stand still! We pick up the hose. We take LOVING action.
We respond with love rather than animosity or defensiveness.
We see that another's bad behaviour is not personal. It is their own stuff, their own B.S. their own pain. And love will not tolerate that bad behaviour either. Love sees the bigger picture and can harmoniously respond with loving boundaries.
Love says "Oh angry child, that is no way to treat me or other people, and there will be consequences for your actions. And I will send compassion your way, for you must be hurting really bad to react like that." That is what is so beautiful about love. It can do both, it can love me, the planet and the other person enough, to see the bigger picture, to see through another person's pain and set loving boundaries. Love is what nurtures the growth of all things. Love is the space where all self-care, all boundaries, all conversations, all evolution, all growth, all solutions, all healthy loving and lasting relationships, and ALL healing is born from. Of course, we all know this, and yet most people do not know what love is. It appears most people do not know what self-love is. And we can only love others at the level in which we love ourselves.
We can only help put out fires, others are throwing, if we know how to put out fires we are throwing at ourselves.
It all starts within. By first learning to listen and understand ourselves. See, we are wanting to be listened to and to be understood. This is why we throw fires in the first place. We weren't listened to. So we think throwing fires will get the attention necessary to be listened to. And unfortunately, this behaviour is self-defeating.
And when we go inward, what we discover is that we have a lot of fires within ourselves, asking ourselves to listen and understand us. We are begging to be understood, but not by others. These little fires, our pain within, are parts of ourselves that haven't been listened to. That haven't been understood.
When we take the time to listen to our own pain, to understand our own selves. A crazy thing happens. Not only do we start understanding and loving ourselves in a deeper way, but we feel compassion for everyone else's pain. Everyone else's impulse to react with throwing fires. We no longer take their pain, or impulses, personally. So we no longer need to react with throwing fires back. We love ourselves enough to not let ourselves be burned and love them enough, not to burn them.
You see love can do both, set down boundaries and see the pain in someone who has bad behaviour. This is where we bridge the divide. Where we are a big enough loving space to have a conversation with those who are difficult to have conversations with. Love is how we become a bigger person. Love is how we then listen and hear them, really hear them. Even when we do not understand. Love is how we deepen our understanding of them because we have done that for ourselves. And, it is the space that makes it safe enough for them to eventually put down the fire and potentially listen to us.
We can't expect to be listened to by throwing fires. It is only in listening to others that we may stand a chance to be listened to. It is only in understanding others that we may be understood. And LOVE is the ONLY space big enough to hold all perspectives, to stay in the room and have uncomfortable conversations. To listen to ALL sides, to help us DEEPEN OUR UNDERSTANDING for one another. Love is also what is necessary to nurture, heal, and grow all things. Whether it be a plant, the planet, our inner landscapes, or the social injustices and a pandemic if a change is to occur, LOVE, IS STILL THE ANSWER.
Love says I will wear a mask because I love myself and others. I will wash my hands because I love myself and others. Love keeps us safe. NOT fear. Fear throws fire. Love starts conversations. FEAR causes anxiety. LOVE causes self-care.
About a month ago, before I left Utah and moved to Portland. I took a walk at Liberty Park (in Salt Lake City, UT) and came across some writings on the sidewalk. Written on duck take mind you. Definitely a true treasure. In case you cannot read it, it says"
"...IT'S KINDA SIMPLE
->HARMONY MATTERS
...IT'S ABOUT LOVE
...AND KINDNESS
MASKS and DISTANCING
and HANDWASHING
and STERILIZING
....ARE GREAT FOR THE
->PANDEMIC
....BUT NOT FOR THE
->HUMAN CONDITION
-SO LET'S REVERSE
*THE FIGHT AGAINST
...ALL FORMS OF
->DISCRIMINATION
*IT'S TIME TO PUT ASIDE
*THE METAPHORICAL MASKS
*AND TO STOP
*DISTANCING OURSELVES
...AND WASHING OUR HANDS
->IT'S TIME TO EMBRACE HARMONY
*LIKE EVERYTHING
...DEPENDS ON IT
->BECAUSE IT DOES! "
~ Author Unknown
We may think strength is in the bold angry actions on others.
But real strength comes when we remain loving in the midst of the injustices. Real strength is remembering that love is still the answer
That it is love that says, I love myself and my fellow human being enough to not tolerate this behaviour. And I love you enough to not hurt you in return. So instead, I will take action. Loving action, to start the uncomfortable conversations. To bring about peaceful, and NEEDED, change. Because what we ALL NEED, is LOVE and HARMONY.
Real strength is bringing a bold love to the world, even when our impulses, wounds and fears try to convince us otherwise.
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